It has been almost two months since my last post. I can not begin to describe how much I love my job. I get to be there for this tiny babies to hold there tiny little hands and rock them to sleep when they are fussy and mom's cant be there. I had my first baby die that I had taken care off. He didn't die at our hospital but I saw him very sick and on the edge of death. He got NEC and it was so quick the deterioration that I couldn't believe it in 2 days he went from bubble CPAP to an oscillator. He was getting more fluids and had more lines coming out of him it was hard to keep straight. We needed a script just to keep track of all of the orders that were being told. I was hard that day knowing all of the hard work my team and myself put into this little baby wasn't most likely going to make any difference. I prayed over him asking God to heal him holding back tears. He was so gray, you could just look at him and realize how sick he was. They pulled support on Halloween what a cruel joke to the family. But I know that he is no longer suffering and find some comfort in that. This week I also took care of the smallest baby most people have seen, he weighted 442 gm that less than a lb. It was amazing to see some thing so tiny fighting so hard. I know that I am gonna see alot of lost in this profession but also alot of joy and that is what I have to hold on to . All the moments when the parents get to hear that there baby is making milestones like when the baby get lines out and they can hold them for the first time, or finally takes his/her first breath not on a ventilator or without O2, or finally completes their first feed. I could go on and on about all the joys that I get to watch and help make. I stole this from a video I posted below. "Being a Neonatal Intensive Care Nurse is one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. It can be challenging, difficult and sad at times but the end result can be so worth it"
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